Man Obsessed With Smoking Oblivious to Shark Attack

nicorette_shark.jpg

Um. Where is the logic in this spot? Guy sits on dock. Guy chants, “Cigarette. Cigarette. Cigarette.” While chanting, shark jumps out of water and begins to tear guy’s arm off. Guy continues to chant, oblivious to shark tearing his arm off. That is until he pops a Nicorette lozenge which, one assumes, helps him stop obsessing about smoking a cigarette. So he can realize a shark is tearing his arm off.

Of course, by the time this idiot realized he was obsessing about a cigarette while a shark was attacking him, quite a bit more than his arm would have been torn of.

OK, yea, we get the whole cigarette obsession thing. It’s over-powering. It distracts. It’s a desire that must be met. And Nicorette is supposed to help assuage that desire ostensibly so you can come to the realization your arm is being torn of by a shark.

Of course in a scenario like this, you’d be dead before you came to that realization.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

I’m 73 and widowed and the hardest part isn’t the silence at night. It’s Sunday mornings, when the whole world seems organized around pairs and families and I’m standing in a coffee shop trying to look like someone who chose to be alone rather than someone whose person simply isn’t coming back.

I’m 73 and widowed and the hardest part isn’t the silence at night. It’s Sunday mornings, when the whole world seems organized around pairs and families and I’m standing in a coffee shop trying to look like someone who chose to be alone rather than someone whose person simply isn’t coming back.

Global English Editing

Psychology says parents who unconsciously compete with their adult child’s partner for closeness don’t realize they’re running a test the child can’t pass — because choosing the partner looks like betrayal and choosing the parent feels like regression, and the child eventually solves it by choosing distance, which is the one outcome nobody wanted but everyone’s behavior made inevitable

Psychology says parents who unconsciously compete with their adult child’s partner for closeness don’t realize they’re running a test the child can’t pass — because choosing the partner looks like betrayal and choosing the parent feels like regression, and the child eventually solves it by choosing distance, which is the one outcome nobody wanted but everyone’s behavior made inevitable

Global English Editing

Research suggests people who put items back exactly where they found them in stores — even when they decide not to buy them — aren’t just being considerate, they’re revealing a worldview where other people’s labor is visible and valuable, not invisible

Research suggests people who put items back exactly where they found them in stores — even when they decide not to buy them — aren’t just being considerate, they’re revealing a worldview where other people’s labor is visible and valuable, not invisible

Global English Editing

Psychology says the most painful form of parent-child distance isn’t estrangement, it’s functional politeness — where calls happen on schedule, visits are brief and pleasant, and nobody says anything real, because both people have silently agreed that surface-level contact is safer than the honest conversation that might break something neither of them knows how to repair

Psychology says the most painful form of parent-child distance isn’t estrangement, it’s functional politeness — where calls happen on schedule, visits are brief and pleasant, and nobody says anything real, because both people have silently agreed that surface-level contact is safer than the honest conversation that might break something neither of them knows how to repair

Global English Editing

Research suggests people who instinctively protect bugs instead of killing them have a fundamentally different relationship with power — they’ve internalized that strength means choosing restraint, not domination

Research suggests people who instinctively protect bugs instead of killing them have a fundamentally different relationship with power — they’ve internalized that strength means choosing restraint, not domination

Global English Editing

If you want your friendships to survive retirement, say goodbye to these habits

If you want your friendships to survive retirement, say goodbye to these habits

Global English Editing