I took my two kids to stay with my parents at their ocean front house on the coast of Maine this week. An absolutely beautiful view that would normally cause one to “Collapse Into Cool” (oh, sorry…see previous post)
The problem is that I have two parents whom I love dearly and who made getting through cancer and unemployment possible. The streets would have been my home otherwise. My mother, bless her, is a control freak. She will not admit this stating that, “This is just the way that things are done” and “When I was a kid…blah, blah, blah…”
The kids had to eat a certain way, play a certain way, talk a certain way, etc. Now I do put myself into the category of a fairly disciplinarian type parent. But, for God’s sake, there are limits.
This past week I came to realize that because I was brought up the same way she treats my grandchildren, I was an absolute wimp for ten years after leaving home. It took me all that time to realize that I could have an original thought and not have to have 3 people validate it before I was confident of that thought. After all this need for guidance and approval, I was sitting in some meeting in a conference room filled with marketing people and I suddenly realized that I was smarter then every one of them in the room! That day drastically change the way I approached my work and how I presented it. Granted, it should have happened ten years earlier but it happened.
Now, I love my parents and all us kids turned out great and became successful and happy and she does have good advice to give. I just wonder why the road had to be so limiting. There must be more then one way to grow up successfully.
That week, I was also reading about the Left Behind series that talks about Revelations and the end of the world and all that stuff. And I began to think…what the FUCK is the importance of whether there is a crumb on the floor or whether my child puts a puzzle together a “different” way?
I know that possessions are important to my parents because they had none growing up. It’s not so much materialism but more an accomplishment to be treasured so I understand the sometimes rigid ways of my parents. I have some of those qualities to. I am in the camp where cleanliness is 95% prevention and 5% actual cleaning. So I understand my parents ways of “keeping house”
It just doesn’t seem all that important anymore though.
