Remember when you used to swap gum when kissing? Wait, you never did that? It was just me? Am I the only gross one in the crowd? Do I need to go see a psychoanalyst to determine how my childhood antics steered me towards a career in which I bitterly bitch and rant about things like some kind of depressed loser angry at the entire world for dealing me this deck of cards?
God, I need help!
Wait, what? It’s OK to suck face with the cutie of your choosing and swap the contents of your mouth with one another? Oh thank God! Not, wait! Thank Skittles! Yes, thank you so much Skittles (and, OK, you too, DDB Chicago) for putting to rest my decades-old hang ups and, once again, allowing me to feel justified in expressing my burning desire to walk up to cute girls and suck the Skittles out of their mouth.
