Hooters: Breasts? Owls? Soda?

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The next time you’re in the grocery store walking down the soda aisle and your six year old daughters asks, loudly, “Daddy, what are hooters” for all nearby shoppers to hear, you had better quickly blame Hooters, the restaurant chain, lest you be stared down by fellow shoppers who wonder exactly what sort of language you teach your child at home. As you turn to your daughter and tell her quietly so other shoppers can’t hear, “Well, honey, you don’t have to worry about that for about six years. We’ll talk about it then,” an internal debate suddenly overwhelms you. Oddly, you can’t seem to reconcile why hooters are on the shelf in the grocery store when they’re usually attached to females and supported by a bra. Or, wait, are hooters just owls?

Suddenly, you forget why you’re in the store in the first place. You take your daughter out of the cart, leave the store, walk to your car in which your wife is waiting and blurt, “Honey, your daughter wants to know what hooters are.” Your wife stares at you and wonders how in the world a conversation about hooters would begin in the middle of a grocery store. Oh wait. The whole point of this story? Hooters is now selling Hooters-branded soda. And creating embarrassing moments for all.

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Steve Hall

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