OK. Here’s some Independence Day humor…if there is such a thing:
“The Heavy Men’s Network, the first premium male-focused online video network and a part of The Heavy Corporation, today announced in honor of Independence Day the creation of the IAB Supersize Me package for online advertisers–an environmentally friendly ad package with six times the firepower of standard IAB units!
The Heavy advertising units create ten times as many clicks per thousand impressions (the standard for measuring online media) and are six times bigger than standard IAB units, but only cost 50% more. As a result, marketers don’t need to buy as much advertising, and as a nation we use less electricity supporting the same level of media effectiveness.
“We’ve been selling big ad units for years,” explains Simon Assaad, co-CEO of Heavy. “It wasn’t until recently that we realized they’re also more energy efficient advertising units. More bang for your advertising buck on the Fourth of July? What could be better?”
“Our intern from Amherst did his own analysis and found, dollar for dollar, the Heavy Men’s Network advertising units resulted in a lower carbon profile media impression,” said Eric Hadley, CMO of Heavy. “It’s a bigger ad unit, its gets a bigger click through rate and it’s a bigger value…it’s just bigger.”
“We reached out to Bush, Cheney and McCain thinking they’d support anything that’s six times bigger–we’re really very patriotic at Heavy and this as American as Apple Pie–but they’ve been eerily quiet…,” said Heavy Co-CEO David Carson. “Maybe that’s because my partner Simon is 50% Arab with ties to Big Oil.”
“Yes, we approached some of the candidates for this year’s presidential election,” continued Assaad. “I can’t mention names, but one of the candidates immediately grasped the value of Heavy’s enormous advertising units. That was very attractive to him. In politics, as in life, size really does matter.””
