Have Great Sex Without All the Mess

digital_love.jpg

So here’s the latest condom marketing idiocy. Durex is out with Digital Love, a site on which, so they say, you can have sex without actually coming into contact with a partner. Which, of course, is likely the best way not to get pregnant or contract a sexually transmitted disease. However, the site offers no such thing.

You get a slow loading site, a webcam experience (if you have one) and the chance to stare at a hot woman or man who will coo sexual innuendo in your ears until, surprise, you are told you are an idiot for actually thinking you could have sex without touching.

It all reminds us of that scene in the Sylvester Stallone/Sandra Bullock flick Demolition Man when Bullock asks Stallone if he’d like to have sex with her. He, of course, says yes. Who wouldn’t say yes to a request like that from Bullock whose ass was perfection in the tight, black, spandex pants she wore in the movie. But when he realizes they are just having sex in their head, he freaks out and stops.

Anyway, we get that this is a joke. The payoff was just a bit long in coming.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Global English Editing

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

Global English Editing

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Global English Editing

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

Hack Spirit

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

Hack Spirit

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

Global English Editing