Hanes: Need a Little (Agency) Help Over There?

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Selling underwear is usually a no-brainer for some companies. You make it sexy, you make it provocative, you dress it all up and get some pretty people to trounce around in it, or – worst comes to worst – you find really fruity mascots, like Fruit of the Loom.

We can’t think of a major underwear brand that fails to be interesting in the same way that Hanes does.

And this isn’t a recent thing. They’ve always kind of sucked.

This year is no different. As if seeking to compound their suckiness, Hanes comes out with the absolute lamest contest ever. Dubbed simply Hanes’ Nationwide Online Instant Win Promotion (per the pressie), consider the rules here and tell us if you ever saw anything that felt more lukewarm.

To elaborate for those that may feel disinclined to click, the object of the game is to click on pairs of flashing underpants until a signal stops you. Those are the rules up to the third step, anyway.

Then the fourth step goes way left field: “Let’s play for fun and see if the computer lets you collect 8 items to win a portable DVD player or all 12 to win $25,000!”

Huh? Let’s play for fun? If the computer lets us? What?

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

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