In the “We’ve Got a Solution for Every Problem” Department of Pharmaceutical Genius they’ve been staying up late this week examining a burning problem: chafing. Yes, chafing. Apparently, some pharmaceutical companies have become bored with finding a cure for cancer.
In this commercial for Lanacane the Pharmaceutical Geniuses solve chafing with a gel. The ad starts off with some chubby balloon characters whose limbs rub together “painfully” when they walk. The announcer says, “If you chafe when you move, it hurts.” He the offers up Lanacane Anti-Chafing Gel saying, “Stop chafing. Keep moving”
Good idea. We’ve got another. Perhaps last week you heard of Urban Outfitters’ solution to chafing and other obesity-related problems: Eat Less. Yea, it didn’t go over too well. But over-sized balloon thighs? No problem at all.
Even with numbers like 67% of adults over 20 and 15% of children ages 6-11 who are either overweight or obese the “Eat Less” effort was, apparently, too much to take. Urban Outfitters was pressured to remove the t-shirt from its catalog.
But that’s a good thing, right? who needs the hassle of counting calories? We don’t. Besides, we’ve got Anti-Chafing Gel. So there’s no need for all this “healthy eating” crap. Butter up your sausage thighs with some Lanacane and you’ll be just fine!
Besides, over eating can be a very, very good thing for people who are lucky enough to put on weight in all the right places.
