Cows Hate Cold Hands

zippo_cow.jpg

Farmers take notice. Actually, don’t. Why? Because it’s a rare farmer these days who actually milks a cow by hand. For you city folk, most cows are now milked by a machine that connects to the cow’s teats (yes, that’s what cow nipples are called) then automatically disconnects when the cow is finished giving milk. Anyway, that doesn’t seem to be relevant to Zippo and its agency, Pittsburgh-based Brunner, which advocate the use of the Zippo hand warmer prior to hand milking a cow.

Now that may well be great advice for those farmers still milking cows by hand…and the rest of the world who thinks that’s still how all cows are milked…but we have one small comment. While the farmer in this ad isn’t exactly using the open flame lighter in the barn while milking the cow, he does have the warmer in his pocket. Whether it produces any significant flame, we do not know. What we do know is that flame and methane gas – always present when cows are around – definitely do not mix well.

Yes, the ad is allegorical. Yes, the Zippo hand warmer is safe. But in this day and age of literal-minded cause group kooks, we wouldn’t be one bit surprised if some entity decided to lodge a complaint claiming this ad might somehow convince a random idiot to walk into a barn with a Zippo lighter (instead of the hand warmer) causing an entire herd of livestock to go up in flames.

And you know stranger things have happened.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Global English Editing

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

Global English Editing

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Global English Editing

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

Hack Spirit

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

Hack Spirit

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

Global English Editing