Condescending White Guy Gets Ass Kicked by Asian Girls

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Here’s a creepy twist on the American Psycho premise.

You’re in the Chinese laundry. Some hotshot white executive walks in and starts heckling the pitiable Asian owner in front of his family. He makes the nasty requisite Pokemon and Hello Kitty jokes, does the grating “oriental” accent. Things are clearly spiraling out of control.

Suddenly, a black dude in the background takes a call on his Jawbone Bluetooth headset. And in a noise-canceling orchestration Bose would be proud of, the world beyond his convo is efficiently muted.

In the safety of silence, two Asian girls get up, put a plastic bag over the white collar exec’s head, and start beating the living crap out of him. Their mom soon joins in. No sign of dad, not that it matters anymore; you’re just staring in horror at the guy’s face, which is getting redder and redder and redder in his little plastic bag.

Somewhere in the background, you hear the black guy making sexy-talk with his wife.

The (literal) punchline? Jawbone eliminates noise. Oh fucking ouch.

We’re not really sure what to think. We are scared — like, in a “Patrick Bateman just walked through our living room” kind of way.

Brought to you by Feed Company, the same chaps that brought us RayBan’s “Never Hide” — which is bunny-tame in comparison. And right now, we really want to hug a bunny.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

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