Burger King Jacks Off Your Morning Tongue With Cheesy Tots

bk_morning_tongue.jpg

Ah yes, that occasionally embarrassing morning moment when you find yourself (if you’re a guy) tenting your sheets with no way to hide the fact you’re sprung. Either due to that early morning dream about the hot girl you saw on Flickr and are now having sex with in your mind…or the serious need to take a piss, morning wood is something all guys have to deal with from time to time.

Crispin Porter + Bogusky have twisted that experienced into, yes, a commercial for Burger King’s Cheesy Tots. Apparently, these cheese-filled hash browns are so arousing your tongue simply has to get it’s daily relief or else…it’ll turn blue? As satisfying as a Cheesy Tots-induced tongue orgasm might sound, we certainly hope there isn’t a lot of prolific saliva squirting accompanying that satisfaction. That would just be gross.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

RECENT ARTICLES

TRENDING AROUND THE WEB

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Real confidence rarely needs to announce itself: it shows up as stillness under pressure, a level voice when everyone else in the room is raising theirs, a willingness to let silence sit for a few extra seconds, and no need to perform for an audience that was never really watching

Global English Editing

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

A survey of 2,000 women over 45 commissioned by the herbal remedy brand A. Vogel found that more than two-thirds felt completely ignored by men the moment they walked into a crowded room, and 46 percent said no one around them seemed to understand what that shift actually felt like

Global English Editing

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Received Pronunciation, the accent linguists still nickname the Queen’s English, took shape inside a handful of England’s most expensive private schools, and it remains such a reliable marker of that background that a stranger can often place someone’s education within a single sentence.

Global English Editing

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

9 truths about people that regular volunteers learn fast

Hack Spirit

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

7 habits of people who remember everyone’s name and use it well

Hack Spirit

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

What a glass of wine at 8pm actually does for a writer — and what it doesn’t

Global English Editing