Japanese bra maker Maruko is getting witty in a new Asatsu-DK-created campaign that fixates on the bronski, the act of getting one’s face smooshed between a pair of breasts. While certainly a pleasurable experience, the two guys in these two ads look more like they’ve endured a Holocaust camp than the pleasures of a big pair of soft, fleshy breasts.
This is certainly a new addition to the long list of quirky approached bra makers have taken to get their product noticed. Wonderbra has proven its ability to confine breasts in motion with a spoof of the Cadbury Gorilla commercial and the fact their push up bras make women’s breasts so big they cause problems. Playtex has asked women to submit funny stories about their experiences with their bras. Vanity Fair has playfully used lighting tricks to cover the female nipple. Chantelle Push-Up bras push up more than just beasts.
Sloggi just bares as much ass as it can. Bravissimo gets people past the over D cup stigma with properly fitted F, G and GG bras. Hanes signed Ghost Whisperer star Jennifer Love Hewit, the only woman who is as equally obsessed about breasts as men are. Victoria’s Secret has gone the route of glamorizing the bra to the point it deserves its own television spectacle. And U.K. bra company Shock Absorber created a website where people can go watch breasts bounce.
Maruko’s approach is decidedly different. Oh sure, we get the joke. We get that their bras are so uplifting and so cleavage enhancing that they can contain even the most unwieldy pair of breasts pressing them together to form that “I’m much bigger than I look” look. But ouch. man! That looks painful! Breasts aren’t supposed to do damage. They’re supposed to bring pleasure and, lest we not forget, serve as an all important food source for babies. That is, despite what we’ve made of them, their primary purpose.
But no, we’ve empowered the breast. It’s far more than just a body part. We’ve made it a tool of persuasion, a device that can make men do just about anything asked of the breasts’ possessor. We’ve made it a fashion accessory. They’ve been used for the advancement of political causes. They are one of the primary focal points of the porn industry. They are the butt of endless jokes both humorous and crass. They’ve become the unfortunate determinant by some of a woman’s perceived intelligence or lack thereof. They are a masturbatory motivator for the men of the world…and some women.
How is it that a simple body part can command so much power over some people? How is it a simple body part can make so many people become blithering idiots? What would Flickr, Webshots and Photobucket be without top heavy young women vamping their pulchritude for the camera? What would sites like OverdevelopedAmatuers be without breasts?
What the fuck are we doing still writing about this stupid bra ad?
