“Mommy, why does the lady on that sign have her bottom sticking up and there’s like a string tied around it?”
“Well, honey, it gets hot here in Florida and sometimes your bottom can get sweaty. It’s just an advertisement for a place where woman can go cool their bottoms off.”
“But mommy, it says ‘Gentleman’s Club.’ Why does it say that if only ladies go there? Have you been there? Is your bottom hot?”
“Oh no, no, no, honey. I haven’t been there but I think men go there to help the women cool off. I don’t know how they do it. Maybe they have to hold the fans or something. Hey, want to go to McDonald’s?”
“Um, OK, but I still don’t get it. Why don’t the ladies just take a bath to cool off? Why do they lie down and stick their bottoms in the air? It looks like they want people to look at it.”
“Well, honey, you know how some people have really pretty faces or really pretty hair and other people like to say nice things about them? It’s kind of like that.”
“So…could I go there if I wanted people to like my bottom and cool it off? I do get hot sometimes.”
“Ooooo Kaaaay. Here we are at McDonald’s. Do you want fries with your Big Butt…shit…Mac? Sorry. Sorry, honey. Mommy didn’t mean to say that.”
“It’s OK mommy. I want a really big bottom so lots of people will look at it and cool it off. That would be fun.”
“…fucking advertising…”
“What did you say, mommy?”
“Nothing honey. Just eat your sandwich.”
