Beck’s has launched a blog, Different by Choice. Yawn, right? But the way they’ve announced it and the way it’s formatted is so annoying, it can’t be left alone.
In an email beginning with “Hello Important Marketing Blog People,” Beck’s blogger Darius asks, “has anyone told you recently how hot you are?” and then goes on to explain how he “destroyed” 850 other potential bloggers vying for the job “‘cos that is the way I roll.” Ugh. Cue the Agency.com Subway video.
And then with an ego akin to Sean John believing anyone remotely takes him seriously, Darius prattles on, “This is a novel and let’s face it a brave choice by Beck’s to give me a platform to extol my views and ideals on their global website whilst writing on all that I deem to be ‘Different by Choice.’ Beck’s legal department are bracing themselves for the impending months.”
Ooo. Bogger VS. Lawyer! Hey Darius, that one was played out in 2002.
And if all this weren’t enough to make you want to gag yourself with I AM KING, the entire blog site is in Flash. Yes, a blog in Flash, the worst platform to create anything which requires even the tiniest bit of navigation. Want to use your mouse’s scroll wheel to fly through some text? Not gonna happen. Want to right click to navigate back? Nope. Want to grab a portion of an image so write something and link back (not that you’d ever want to with this particular blog)? You’ll have to settle for Print Screen. And speaking of linking, want to link to a particular area of the site? Not so easily done.
And the most annoying aspect of the site? In order to gain access, you must jump through the age verification hoop. Oh sure, there’s a box to check which, one assumes, will cookie your computer so you don’t have to jump through the hoop when you come back. Alas, coming up with a reason to return to this blog is a head scratcher.
Thankfully, the designers couldn’t Flashturbate the RSS feed which remains simple point and click. It’s the only way you’ll want to read the site. Though, not even low tech RSS will completely shield you from the horrors of this site. The feed is partial so if you really want to read a post, you’ll have to click through to the site’s infuriating Flashiness.
