Attention All Cereal Eaters! Wheaties is for Hard-Asses.

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So Wheaties, the wholesome man’s man cereal that once sported Michael Jordan on the box, has rebranded to reflect our taurine-powered, chrome-enhanced times.

Powering down on all that orange, the new Wheaties box is Basic Black with a metallic new brand name: FUEL. Just above is a casual (and yet not) assembly of sporty dudes with features that bring both Star Trek and Axe to mind. Yes, simultaneously.

No word on whether the Bom Chika Wah-Wah will be penetrating TV ads; we just hope all that FUEL doesn’t manifest itself on unwitting tastebuds.

Make the Logo Bigger has a good assessment of why this approach sucks for cereal. In contrast, Plaid’s Brand Flakes for Breakfast admits the box’ll stand out — that is, until all the other breakfasts of champions start following suit.

Picture of Steve Hall

Steve Hall

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