
– Qualcomm announced the Handsolo today. It’s waterproof, battery-free and has unlimited expandable memory. Also, you can wank off with it.
– Gmail Custom Time, which lets users send up to 10 emails to the past per year, debuted today. Wouldn’t it be neat to get a drunken rant from Future You?
– Seriously, you should get paid to whore for friends on Facebook. Because come on. Two thousand friends? That’s a few dozen impressions at least.
– It’s AdSense for conversations!

– The US Federal Court has declared email bankruptcy illegal. Meaning all email in your inbox — EVERY LAST ONE — must be responded to in a timely manner. And don’t even think about pushing that delete button, punk.
– If you can’t beat Google, just pay people not to use it.
– FNMA will 100% finance Stated Income/Stated Asset loans up to $729,000. First-time buyer? There’s love left in this funny-money treasury for you too.
– Activists are trying to rename April 1st “Fossil Fools Day.” (Seriously.)