– It Didn’t Air is another awards show that aspires to tickle the creative babies that were too ugly or flawed to make it into waking life. Strictly for radio ads — and only $75 to enter!!
– Anheuser-Busch is going to stop selling energy drinks. Which is probably wise, because tipsy + hyper = high likelihood of Death by Freak Accident. Typically on a train track.
– Mega-Bang turns bald, bearded, nearsighted men into repetitive sex gods. Also, check out his bathrobe insignia. It’s a phallus. With an orbit.
– Mattress Firm is looking for the most sleepless person in America. The winner gets a new mattress and a free consultation from a shrink — er, sleep expert. To enter, write an essay or submit a video, though I think the latter’s preferred because that’s what all the cool kids do.
